Perhaps you’re not in a romantic relationship right now, so the “future husband” concept feels abstract to you. Maybe it feels like you’ll never find true love or get married. I feel that way sometimes, too. But a passage from Proverbs 31 actually changed my perspective on my future husband and how I can honor him (and the Lord!), even though I haven’t met him yet. Here are three practical ways that you can become a godly wife—even before you meet your future husband:
1. Sacrifice your own needs and desires for the needs and desires of others.
An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. (Proverbs 31:10 NASB1995)
King Lemuel (the author of Proverbs 31) depicted the Proverbs 31 Woman as an invaluable—and rare—asset to her husband. Though there are many reasons why she was described as “excellent,” I believe that her selflessness is the overarching reason. She put the needs and desires of others above her own, and they praised her for it.
Question to ask yourself: Do I put the needs and desires of my family members and friends, teachers and classmates, supervisors and coworkers, church family members, and “the least of these” (Matthew 25) above my own needs and desires?
2. Seek to be trustworthy, especially in areas of temptation.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. (Proverbs 31:11 NASB1995)
While this verse can apply to a variety of areas in a person’s life, God used (and is using) this verse to convict me of sexual sin specifically—and to warn me that sexual sin can significantly affect my present and future relationships. Though sexual sin is often stereotyped as a sin that only married/engaged/dating guys struggle with, the reality is that single girls struggle with it, too—so we need to fight it! After all, if we want our future husbands to trust us, we need to prove that we’re worthy of their trust.
Question to ask yourself: Am I proving to be trustworthy by consistently and prayerfully fighting sin—including sexual sin, like lust, masturbation, and pornography?
3. Consider how the decisions that you make in the present will affect your future.
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:12 NASB1995)
Although I realize that King Lemuel described the Proverbs 31 Woman as a married woman with children, I find the wording that he used—“all the days of her life”—applicable to singleness. It can be difficult to think about the future in the present, but as I said about verse 11, the truth is that the decisions that we make now will indeed affect our future—including our future marriages.
Question to ask yourself: Would my future husband be pleasantly surprised—or deeply concerned—by the content that I currently read/listen to/watch, the clothes that I currently wear, and the ways that I currently act toward the guys in my life?
Closing Thoughts
As I thought about how King Lemuel portrayed the Proverbs 31 Woman, I wondered: Will my future husband think of me as an excellent wife whose worth is far above jewels? Will his heart trust mine? Am I doing him good all the days of my life—including the days while I wait for him?
To be honest, my answer to those three questions is “no.” However, as I keep in mind that my future husband is not an abstract concept—but is a real person with a real body, a real heart, a real mind, and a real soul—I can take practical steps to change. And you can, too!
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