I was 13 years old when my friend Alexis* moved away. Losing her was really hard because I’d grown up with her. We’d attended the same church and the same homeschool groups, and we’d even played soccer on the same team. But Alexis isn’t the only friend I’ve lost in my life. Many of my friends have been “friends for a season.” Even though it’s not fun when a friendship ends, it’s not unusual.
The Gift of a Friend
I don’t want you to misunderstand the point of this post. Some friendships do last a long time. Although those kinds of friendships are rare, they’re true blessings.
I’ve been able to meet up with my friend Nora* several times since I graduated from college. Even though we live in different parts of the state, we’ve been intentional about hanging out together. We didn’t really get to know each other until we were finishing college, but I’m glad I’ve gotten to know her better in recent years.
I’ve been writing letters to my pen-pal Erin* for over a decade. We’ve only met in person once (a really long time ago!), but we’ve still stayed in touch. The hundreds of miles between us haven’t hindered our friendship.
I’ve known Eva* since I was about 10 years old. We went to Awana and youth group together. I was in her wedding right before I went away to college. Though we now live in different states, we’ve been able to stay in touch. It’s fun to share life updates with each other.
If you’ve maintained a friendship for years and years, that’s wonderful. But if you’re experiencing the loss of a friendship because your (or your friend’s) circumstances have changed, don’t be discouraged or afraid. Trust God will provide. The long-term friendships and the short-term friendships are gifts from Him.
There Is a Season
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ESV)
The point of this post isn’t to say that long-distance friendships never work out well or that lifelong friendships never happen. Rather, the point of this post is to encourage you to be thankful for the friendships God has given you—whether they last for a few weeks or a few decades—and to prepare for the friendships He has in store for you in the future.
I genuinely believe that God brings some friends into our lives for a specific season for a specific reason. It’s our responsibility to honor Him in every friendship no matter how long it lasts. And if a friendship ends, it’s our responsibility to trust His plan for what’s ahead. Let’s not be so mournful over friendships of the past that we can’t embrace new friendships in the future.
*Names have been changed.
This post was originally published here.
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