Three months ago, you and your boyfriend went on your first date. He took you to a fancy restaurant with live music and expensive food. He opened all your doors and complimented your outfit and paid for your meal. He made you laugh so hard and so loud. He said he couldn’t wait to see you again.
Three months ago, you also noticed your first red flag. During your date, he said something very critical about one of his coworkers, which surprised you. He didn’t seem like a critical person. In fact, he seemed really sweet and encouraging. But then you noticed a second red flag…and a third…and a fourth…and a fifth.
Though you’ve tried to avert your gaze from the red flags, you can’t help but see them whenever you’re with your boyfriend. At first, you thought he would recognize his flaws and work on them. But nothing has changed in the past three months. The red flags you saw on your first date are the same red flags you see now. And you’re worried they’ll be part of his life forever.
An Uncertain Future
Maybe you didn’t expect to see so many red flags so soon. Now you feel paralyzed about how to proceed in your romantic relationship. You certainly want to keep dating your boyfriend. You love him. You’ve loved him from the moment you met him. He’s a great Christian guy and has lots of wonderful qualities…plus a few major red flags.
But the red flags have never directly affected you. He never criticizes you. He never lies to you. He never breaks his promises to you. He never snaps at you. He never makes fun of you.
Plus, you feel like you should give him a chance to improve himself. You’re confident that if you express your concerns to him, he’ll address them. You simply need to be honest with him.
But what if you keep dating him and nothing changes? That’s a legitimate possibility. It’s actually a very likely possibility. That’s why I need to share this hard truth with you: The longer you stay with your boyfriend, the harder it’ll be to leave him.
Now or Never
The naive believes everything, but the sensible man considers his steps. A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is arrogant and careless. (Proverbs 14:15-16 NASB1995)
The truth is that everyone—including your boyfriend—is flawed. Everyone—including your boyfriend—falls into sin. Everyone—including your boyfriend—has struggles. But none of these realities is an excuse to date guys who have red flags.
Though he made plenty of unwise decisions, Solomon knew that wise people don’t ignore red flags. They see evil and turn away from it. Even if the evil they see doesn’t directly affect them right now, it will directly affect them in the future.
So what does this mean for you and your boyfriend? It means it’s time to consider letting him go. I know that’s probably a super hard thing to hear, but it’s exactly what you need to hear. Don’t wait it out and hope for the best because you might be looking at the best version of him right now.
But I have some good news for you, friends. When you decide to let go of your boyfriend, you open the door for God to bring the right guy—not just a guy who’s “decent” or “adequate”—into your life. No one can make this decision for you, but it’s a decision that’s better to make sooner rather than later.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 