Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
I’m writing this letter to you because I want you to know that I have high expectations for you. I don’t want to trudge through decades of singleness and end up with a subpar husband. However, I also want you to know that my expectations for you are reasonable. By the way, you should probably have reasonable expectations for me as well…because I’m pretty broken.
Still, it took me two months—two very long months—to find a job after graduating from college. I was definitely giving up hope, but I kept applying for positions and having interviews and receiving autogenerated rejection emails. I felt so behind. Was my feeling of "behind-ness" normal?
Last week, I watched a movie called Finding You, which is based on a fiction book called There You’ll Find Me by Jenny Jones. While I appreciate that Finding You didn't have any sex scenes, I was disappointed by how unrealistic the plot was. The happy ending for the main character—Finley Sinclair—was super unrealistic. After all, what average American student actually studies abroad in Ireland, meets a handsome single actor who's smitten with her, and earns a spot in the Manhattan Conservatory of Music? None that I know of.
I'm the girl who's sat in a noisy coffee shop as she's plunked the keys on her keyboard, stared at the couples surrounding her, and lost the motivation she thought she had. I'm the girl who's reached out to multiple literary agents and been rejected or ignored by all of them. I'm the girl who's made approximately $60 as an unknown writer for a single Christian magazine. In short, I'm the girl who wanted to be an author but isn't an author.
Sean, I can’t waste any more years expecting something to happen between us. Nothing ever did, and nothing ever will. I’ve wanted you to be my boyfriend for years. Your smile, friendliness, and confidence (and handsomeness, duh) are incredibly attractive qualities. You're everything that I could ever want. But I can’t keep waiting for you to notice me. I know I have to move on. I’m mostly hopeful that the future is bright…for both of us. Here are a few things that you should know before we part ways.
Even though I haven’t seen that many Hallmark movies, I’ve seen enough to know what all the endings will be: happily ever after. Honestly, Hallmark, you deceive so many women with your cookie-cutter romances. These five false expectations that you've given us are particularly to blame.
May is approaching so quickly, isn’t it? The day when you wear your cap and gown, reach for your diploma, and finally enter adulthood will indeed be bittersweet. Everyone tells you that college is the best time of your life and that post-college will be the worst time of your life. Perhaps the best time of your life will officially be over in approximately three months. So you panic.
Don’t worry—I’m not going to tell you that you’re loved or wanted or valuable whether you have a boyfriend or not. You’ve heard those things a hundred times and already know that those things are true. Instead, I’m going to tell you that it's okay to cry, vent, and even scream if you need to. But I also want you to exhale.
I started thinking about Four and Tris together…holding each other tightly…kissing passionately…with Four shirtless. And I started to imagine myself in Tris’ place…with Four and I holding each other tightly…kissing passionately…and Four shirtless.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 