In case you hadn’t realized, Valentine’s Day is almost a week away. And, in case you also hadn’t realized, this special holiday is often called “Singles’ Awareness Day.” That name actually seems pretty silly. Honestly, most singles who describe Valentine’s Day as “Singles’ Awareness Day” are actually aware of their singleness for 365 days of the year.
Sure, I’ll admit that I’m aware of my singleness most of the time. I’m not married, dating, or even considering starting a romantic relationship.
To be honest, even if a special fella was interested in me, I wouldn’t be ready to start dating. I’m simply not at that place yet.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about being ready for what God calls us to do and just saying “yes” to Him. While I truly believe that there are some seasons of life when we simply need to rip off the painful Band-Aids and dive in, I also believe that romantic relationships are the exception to this rule.
It’s wonderful to be ready for doing God’s work. Sometimes that “work” refers to taking a certain job, joining a certain ministry, or mending a certain friendship. However, it’s unwise to ready yourself for a relationship that isn’t part of His plan.
Basically, I’m referring to when guys and girls force a relationship that isn’t meant to be.
Maybe the guy you like isn’t a Christian, or he’s addicted to porn, or he doesn’t have a job (and has never even tried to find one). Maybe the girl you like doesn’t believe in church attendance, or she’s battling severe depression, or she dresses in a provocative way. Maybe he’s divorced and wants to get re-married, or maybe she had a child out of wedlock.
We will always have baggage, issues, and hardships. We will always struggle with various sins, whether we’re married, dating, or single. But we can’t carry every issue into any relationship and expect to have our significant other carry us through it. We weren’t created to completely depend on each other.
There are a few main reasons why you probably wouldn’t be ready to start a relationship:
- You have no idea where God is leading you OR he/she has no idea where God is leading him/her.
- You are dealing with an issue that you need to work through with the Lord OR he/she is dealing with an issue that he/she needs to work through with the Lord (i.e., a porn addiction, an eating disorder, or suicidal depression).
- Your relationship with God is struggling severely and needs time to grow OR his/her relationship with God is struggling severely and needs time to grow.
- You are in a situation where a romantic relationship would be difficult to manage OR he/she is in a situation where a romantic relationship would be difficult to manage (i.e., the first year of medical school, during the process of moving to a new state, or in the midst of a financial crisis).
Of course, all of this is easy for me to say because there haven’t been any guys in my life who’ve expressed interest in dating me. But these principles still apply and will apply! Sometimes, we need to wait to start a relationship with someone; and other times, we need to start a completely different relationship.
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV)
Some relationships are never meant to be—but that’s okay because one is.
The right time and the right spouse will come. Patience is a virtue, especially when it comes to dating. Rely on the Lord because He knows the best time and person for your relationship.
I hope I didn’t burst your Valentine’s Day bubble because I hope you can enjoy this special holiday! 😊 May you allow God to lead you in your current and future relationships. Let’s learn to trust God by learning to wait when we aren’t ready to date.