In case you hadn’t realized, Valentine’s Day is this week. You may be well aware of this fact and are trying to forget it. Maybe you have something special planned for this holiday, or perhaps you plan to spend the day alone. By yourself. Without a significant other.
Even though singleness can be lonely, it’s not unusual. Looking around my college campus, I observe a few married couples, a few dating couples, and a lot of single students. I have a couple married or dating friends, but most of them aren’t. Perhaps you’ve observed the same thing at your job, in your church, at your school, or in your friend group.
On the other hand, even though singleness is very common for young adults, that doesn’t make singleness easy. In fact, it can be a very worry-filled season of life. Perhaps you can relate to at least one of the three big fears singles have:
Fear #1: I’m going to be single forever.
Of course, it’s possible that God is calling you to singleness permanently. However, God provides a spouse to almost all people. (Though not all people wait to marry the spouses whom God planned for them to marry.) Marriage is a reality for most people.
But patience is a virtue, and it’s a virtue for a reason. Waiting—the key to any single person’s life—requires dependence on God. Our job is simply to trust His plan for our lives and participate in His plan.
Life can change in an instant, and God doesn’t need us to change it. He works to bring two people together in marriage, and He can do that for you.
Fear #2: I’m going to be single until I’m 30 years old.
To be honest, this is a legitimate fear. People are getting married later in life, which means that it’s not unusual to be single in our late 20s or early 30s. So we shouldn’t be so afraid of it happening to us!
Sure, as we enter our 20s, this fear becomes more real. We start to wonder if Prince Charming even exists. After all, if we haven’t met him yet, where could he possibly be? What will we have to do to find him?
Thankfully, we don’t need to depend on ourselves to find our future husbands. God is in control of our future. It’s easier to stop worrying about getting married later in life if we trust that it’s part of His perfect plan. The sooner we accept the truth that He isn’t holding out on us, the sooner we can embrace the life that He has for us right now.
Fear #3: I’m going to be the last one to get married.
We sometimes pity the guys and girls who are still single (including ourselves) and commend those who are married. We ask, “What was her secret to finding that amazing guy?” and “How did she marry him when she was only 20 years old?”
Unfortunately (or fortunately), there’s no secret formula to getting married before our friends and family members. Life just isn’t a formula. It’s a journey with twists, turns, hills, and valleys. Singleness may be one of our valleys.
The good thing about “still” being single is that we have more time to grow in our love for Christ. He’s with us whether we’re married or single, but we can devote more of our time to Him when we’re single (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). Instead of worrying that you’ll be the last single girl, make sure that you’re using your time well wherever God has you right now.
A Final Thought for Your Valentine’s Day
Believe it or not, your season of singleness is probably temporary. And it can be a wonderful time of life—if you choose to make it count.
Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. (1 Corinthians 7:6-7 ESV)
Basically, Paul is saying that he desires singleness for the Corinthians—but he realizes that some are called to singleness and some are called to marriage. We don’t have to feel guilty for wanting to get married. We should only feel guilty if we’re wasting our time as singles worrying about it. God doesn’t command us to be single or to be married—He only commands us to love Him first.
Happy Valentine’s Day, friends!
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 