Why Daydreaming May Be More Dangerous than You Think

Across the table, he stared at me with dreamy blue eyes and laughed gently.

“How in the world did I end up with such a great girl like you?” he asked playfully.  

I shrugged and smiled at him. “Oh, I don’t know. I guess I could ask how I ended up with such a great guy like you.”

He reached for my hand, and I gently rested mine in his. All I could do was look into his dark eyes and hope the moment never ended… 

But then reality set in, and my daydream came to a halt. Suddenly, the fantasy was over.

“Just” Daydreaming

Believe it or not, even though I have never dated, I still have fantasies about what it will be like. I daydream about my latest crush and the happy future we could have together. If I’m being honest, I also think about sex and what it will be like.

While it’s completely normal to think about dating, marriage, and sex, it can be dangerous. My mind often takes me to inappropriate places, and I contemplate situations that I really shouldn’t contemplate. Basically, I’m mentally preparing myself to date, get married, and have sex even though I’m not actually ready for those things.

Honestly, it’s fun to imagine the future relationship I could have with a guy. But it isn’t very healthy for my relationships with God, my family, or my future husband. Perhaps you’re also struggling to keep your mind pure and focused. But there is hope for you, and that hope is found in Christ.

4 Ways to Combat Lust

  • Say no to sexual fantasies.

I know firsthand how tempting it is to let an innocent thought about my crush turn into a full-blown sexual scenario with him. But I also know that we have a choice about what we focus on. No one is forcing us to think sinful thoughts, so we must consciously choose not to.

  • Say yes to Christ-centered thoughts.

Yes, there is an alternative to focusing on guys and sex. Instead, we can focus on spiritual things. Focusing on spiritual things means meditating on Scripture, praying, thinking about how to help others, and thanking God for His blessings. These things are life-giving. In his letter to the Romans, Paul says, “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:6 ESV).

  • Stay busy.

We’re often drawn into temptation when we’re idle or bored. For example, it’s easier to focus on your crush when you’re sitting alone at home than when you’re at youth group with your friends. That is one reason why gathering with other believers is so important! Working hard in the tasks God has given you to do—such as schoolwork, chores, a job, or service opportunities—is also very important. Choosing to fellowship and work hard can help us avoid giving into temptation.

  • Choose your media wisely.

Although I’ve never had a boyfriend, the media I’ve consumed has influenced my thought life about dating, marriage, and sex. As 1 Corinthians 6:18 (ESV) states, “Flee from sexual immorality…” In regard to media, this means avoiding movies, tv shows, books, music, and online content that contains sex, whether it’s sexual scenes, language, or images.  Also, while there’s nothing necessarily wrong with watching clean romance movies or reading Christian romance novels, it’s wise to limit the amount of time you spend consuming romance-centered media, even if it doesn’t involve sex.   

In our sex-saturated culture, it may feel impossible to think about Christ more than your crush. But if we truly want to grow in our relationship with Christ, we’ll need to train our thoughts to focus on what is good (Philippians 4:8). Romantic fantasies can be innocent, but they quickly lead to sexual thoughts, attitudes, and actions. Christ offers us something much better than romance—an everlasting relationship with Him.

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