Note: This post is going to be honest and real and transparent. I hope you’re okay hearing the raw truth, even if it hurts.
Oh, how I hate looking in the mirror. I hate being around skinny girls. I hate going clothes shopping. I hate stepping on the scale.
Because I hate my body. I’ve hated it for years. Nothing is wrong with it—it works perfectly. It is completely healthy.
But I still hate it. Because it’s not the way I want it to be. Truth be told, it never will be.
You see, I have a picture in my mind of the ideal body. It’s really, really thin. It’s not the body I have, but it’s the body I want.
The problem with wanting this “perfect” body is that it’s impossible for me to attain. If I became thinner, I still wouldn’t be satisfied. I would never be satisfied. I’d want to become even thinner until I looked like a walking pretzel stick.
(Just FYI, that’s what Satan wants me to become—a walking pretzel stick. He wants to destroy me spiritually, and he will tell me any lie to get me to destroy myself physically.)
Satan tells me that I have to be the thinnest girl in the room. He says I need to wear the smallest size. He whispers that I need to eat the smallest meals and exercise the longest time.
If I’m not the skinniest girl in the room, I’m not enough…at least that’s what he tells me. But even though I want to be the skinniest girl in the room, I had to (and still have to) come to grips with the fact that I will never be her.
First of all, the thinnest girl in the room may have an eating disorder or simply different DNA. I can’t be the thinnest girl in the room because I shouldn’t change my eating habits, and I can’t change my DNA. So I can either accept the fact that I won’t be the thinnest girl in the room—or I can reject it and be completely miserable and discontent.
And you get to decide that, too.
Quickly Fading Beauty
I love Proverbs 31:30 because I believe it shows us what we as women value…even though it’s not worth valuing so highly.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 NKJV)
Not only is charm deceitful because it changes, but charm is also deceitful because we can never grasp it. Our perception of ourselves is often skewed. We can’t see ourselves clearly because we have a completely subjective view of ourselves.
The same is true of beauty. One day, the culture says plumpness is beautiful. The next day, the culture says uber skinniness is beautiful. We change our opinion of what beauty is based on what others say and how we feel about ourselves.
But opinions and feelings change. God’s Word (the only Truth) does not change. It is completely objective. Thus, we should base beauty on what is important to Him—a woman who fears the Lord.
Girls, your health is more important than your size. And your heart is most important.
If we chase the “ideal” body, we will never be content. Trust me—I’ve tried. I’ve read the diet books, tried running, and eaten the grossest salads. And I still wasn’t happy with my body.
But that’s okay. You don’t have to love your body, dear girl. You don’t even have to believe that you’re beautiful. Because it’s more important to pursue a godly heart than a toned body.
You don’t need to feel beautiful because you can’t force yourself to feel a certain way. You just need to fight Satan’s lies and believe God’s Truth. And so do I.