After I graduated from college, I moved back home to live with my parents and two sisters. This has been a great arrangement because I love my family, my home, and my town. I work here, I attend church here, and most of my friends live here. It’s a genuinely beautiful place with plenty to do but not too much to do.
But there was one really hard thing about the transition from living at college to moving back home that all single college graduates have to deal with—feelings of loneliness. Knowing that I was welcome back home with my family. Yet feeling like I should be getting married and buying a home of my own. Being thankful for the space that my parents had for me. But learning to accept that I didn’t have a home of my own to “homemake.”
What You Can’t Do Now
Last Christmas, I asked for towels. Weird, right? If I had gotten towels for Christmas even a few years ago, I would’ve been disgusted.
But a lot changed when I graduated from college. I no longer lived in a little dorm room with barely enough room for my snacks, textbooks, and dirty laundry. I had my own bedroom and bathroom that I could “homemake”—you know, buy furniture for, add décor to, and organize exactly how I wanted. I decided I wanted basically everything to match my bedroom colors. Which prompted me to put a set of white fluffy towels on my wish list.
It’s definitely been fun setting up and decorating and redecorating my space. I’m thankful that I have this space to enjoy and call my own. But no matter how many times I go to Hobby Lobby or buy blankets on Amazon or rearrange my closet, it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have my own home.
Until I get married and have children, I’m probably not going to have my own home. Sure, I could move into an apartment, but that wouldn’t be much different than having a bedroom and bathroom to myself in my parents’ home. I could buy a small house for myself, but that would be really expensive and impractical for me.
Hence the dilemma of the Christian single girl (especially post-college). We want to be homemakers. We’re ready to buy couches and chairs and tables, find matching pillows and rugs and wall art, and organize kitchen cabinets and bookshelves and linen closets. But we can’t really do that yet until we have homes of our own.
What You Can Do Now
1. “Homemake” your space, no matter how small it is.
Even if your living space consists of just a bedroom and a bathroom, work your homemaking magic. Do what you can with the space God has given you. Hit up that new home goods store. Track down the matching items of that bedding set. Organize your dresser drawers. Pick a different paint for your walls. Have fun with it!
2. Offer to help someone else “homemake” her space.
Chances are, you know someone who has recently gotten married and is moving to a new place—whether that place is a city apartment, a country farmhouse, or something in between. I’m sure it’s very overwhelming for her to adjust to married life while also having to make a new place “home.” This is your chance to use your desire to “homemake” to be a blessing to her. Ask her if she needs help as she sets up her new home, whether that means cleaning, organizing, or decorating. She may want to do everything herself, but she’ll likely appreciate your help.
Our Forever Home
I know how easy it is to feel like you don’t belong anywhere because you don’t have your own home. In time, you’ll probably have a wonderful home with a wonderful husband and wonderful kids. But right now, that dream feels so far away, right?
To the homemaker without a home, remember these two things: (1) there are ways for you to “homemake” your space and the spaces of others who will greatly appreciate your help and (2) if you belong to God, He is your home and always will be.
Lord, through all the generations you have been our home! Before the mountains were born, before you gave birth to the earth and the world, from beginning to end, you are God. (Psalm 90:1-2 NLT)
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