To be totally honest, I’m easily attracted to guys. If they’re handsome (think male model), I’m probably attracted to them. But that doesn’t mean I’d develop a romantic relationship with a guy simply because his face belongs on the cover of a magazine. Attraction involves physical appearance, but it’s so much more than that. I want to be attracted to the way a guy looks and acts.
Plus, I don’t just want to be attracted to him; I want to be attractive to him. I’m guessing you want the same thing, friends! To point you in the right direction about how to make that a reality, we’ll unpack the following passage from 1 Peter:
Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. (1 Peter 3:3-4 NASB1995)
This post isn’t about what attracts guys in general—because guys who follow Jesus (hopefully) prioritize very different things than guys who don’t follow Jesus. However, this post is about how to attract guys who follow Jesus and two ways you can do that based on 1 Peter 3:3-4:
1. Put effort into your appearance.
Key verse: “Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses” (v. 3).
Internal beauty does matter most, but external beauty still matters. So friends, it’s time to get rid of your ratty sneakers. It’s time to put on makeup and wash your hair. It’s time to wear something other than leggings and t-shirts.
I do want you to know what I’m not saying here: (1) your physical appearance should be your top priority or (2) you have to dress your absolute best every single day or (3) true beauty is based on external characteristics. I’m simply saying most guys—regardless of what they believe about Jesus—aren’t attracted to girls who put zero effort into their appearance. It’s not the most important thing, but it’s still important.
2. Don’t be an attention seeker.
Key verse: “But let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (v. 4).
Although Peter actually wrote this portion of his letter to wives, not singles, I thought his guidance for wives was interesting. He didn’t encourage them to be loud, boisterous women who seek attention from others. Rather, he told them a gentle, quiet spirit is precious to God and never perishes.
I’m not saying this passage from 1 Peter is implying this, but I believe girls need to demonstrate a gentle, quiet spirit when it comes to dating and marriage. Personally, I believe God designed men to initiate romantic relationships. Thus, guys should pursue girls when they want to date them—not the other way around. You can call this belief “backward” or “old-fashioned,” but knowing he started it can honestly give you much more security in the relationship.
Closing Thoughts
Friends, there’s no formula for attracting a godly guy. I obviously can’t guarantee you’ll start dating soon if you simply put more effort into your appearance and choose to live in humility rather than seeking attention. But the right guy is truly worth waiting for—and so are you! Just do what you can, and let God accomplish His incredible plan.
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