One of my all-time favorite TV shows, Good Luck Charlie, includes several episodes about the dating relationship of Teddy and Spencer—who broke up, made up, broke up, made up, etc. Their relationship felt like a rollercoaster ride throughout the four seasons of the show, and it was difficult to keep track of where they stood as a couple. (Don’t worry—they ended up staying together and making it work. After all, it’s a Disney show, not real life.)
In real life, guys and girls break up and subsequently wrestle with serious doubts and regrets. I’d argue it’s particularly common for girls who break up with their boyfriends to doubt or regret their decisions. It’s simply easier to stay in relationships—even unhealthy ones—than to be alone. But does that mean they should take back their boyfriends?
Time to Make Up or Move On
You might remember a post I wrote in 2022 about settling—and how dangerous it can be to settle for a guy who (1) doesn’t follow Jesus and/or (2) doesn’t pursue you and/or (3) doesn’t really love you. Of course, if you realize your boyfriend fits into one (or all) of those categories, it’s time to end the relationship. But that’s not an easy thing to do.
Doubts and regrets may flood your mind after you say goodbye to him: “Are you sure you made the right decision? You may never meet anyone who’s better than him. Don’t you think you should take him back—just in case?”
Even though I’ve haven’t had a boyfriend or experienced a breakup, I’ve heard about girls breaking up with their boyfriends. And I understand the pain is real. Heartbreak hurts. It’s so hard to be alone, especially when you haven’t been alone for several months (or even years).
But I want to make this clear: The pain—as intense as it may feel—is not an indication you made the wrong decision about your boyfriend. You may have to wait for the clarity or confirmation you desire, but the wait is worth it.
Time to Listen and Trust
So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help. O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. He will be gracious if you ask for help. He will surely respond to the sound of your cries. Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes. Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left. Then you will destroy all your silver idols and your precious gold images. You will throw them out like filthy rags, saying to them, “Good riddance!” (Isaiah 30:18-22 NLT)
We all make mistakes in relationships. As fallen humans, we hurt people—even the people we love deeply. And I realize there are very specific situations when it might be appropriate to take back your boyfriend. (For example, it may be appropriate to take him back if he hurt your feelings and you broke up with him but then he realized he hurt you, asked for your forgiveness, and demonstrated—with his actions, not just his words—that he regrets what he did.)
But situations like those are pretty rare. If you decided to break up with your boyfriend, you probably did it after thinking and praying about it for a while. The reason you broke up with him is the reason you probably shouldn’t take him back.
Though the original context of the passage from Isaiah is different than the context I’m applying it to, I genuinely believe it can be a source of great encouragement to you. You may not feel ready to move on from your boyfriend—to say, “Good riddance!”—but that will come with time. For now, you just have to listen to the voice of the Lord—the voice that says, “This is the way you should go.”
You may not have clarity until months or years after you end your relationship with your boyfriend, but I promise you won’t regret listening to God. Let Him—and the wise people He’s placed in your life—guide you in your decision-making instead of your emotions.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 