Maybe he’s given you an engagement ring. Maybe he’s promised to give you an engagement ring. Or maybe he’s never even brought up the topic of engagement.
Regardless, the question he asks at the one-year mark since you started dating catches you off-guard: “Do you want to move in together?”
Your boyfriend has never said anything like that before. He’s always respected your physical boundaries. In fact, you were confident he shared your convictions about saving sex for marriage—which is exactly why you don’t know how to respond to his statement. But you’re tempted to say yes.
Looking Ahead
Moving in together before marriage may not seem like a big deal, especially because you know so many people—both Christians and non-Christians—who have done it.
“Living together before you get married is good practice for living together after you get married,” they tell you. “Plus, marriage is just a formality—a gold band, a piece of paper, and a new last name. It’s really no different than your relationship status now. The only thing that matters is that you love him and he loves you.”
Maybe those who give you that kind of advice have good intentions, but they’re probably biased too. So let me share some other advice with you as you consider moving in with your boyfriend. Though I’m not a fan of Christian clichés, there is a very poignant (and relevant) Christian cliché you should keep in mind: True love waits. (In other words, counterfeit love doesn’t wait.)
You see, if you give your boyfriend what he wants (i.e., your body), he’ll no longer have a reason to give you what you want (i.e., his commitment to love, honor, and cherish you—and you alone—until death parts you). Your body will be the only thing he’ll see when he looks at you. And when he loses interest in your body, he’ll find a different body. After all, there will be no reason for him to stay—he won’t be bound to you in marriage.
Your boyfriend may regularly tell you he loves you, but that isn’t proof that he truly loves you. Rather, his act of waiting to have sex with you until he marries you is proof. (Remember—true love waits.)
I know you may think that if you move in with your boyfriend and give him what he wants, he’ll give you want you want. But that’s not how pre-marital sex works. If you offer your body to him—whether he’s promised to marry you or not—he’ll use it. But if you save your body for him, he’ll treasure it. And your body is worth treasuring.
Knowing Your Value
Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20 NKJV)
Although moving in with your boyfriend may lead to marriage, it’ll likely lead to heartbreak. Once you give your body to a guy, you can’t get it back. Would you rather give it to a guy who’s committed to you in marriage—a guy who’s proven he loves you and recognizes you’re not just a body to fulfill his sexual desires—or a guy who isn’t willing to commit himself to you for the rest of his life?
Christ paid an extremely high price for you. Because of His sacrifice on the cross, the Holy Spirit dwells in you. Your body is His temple! If your boyfriend doesn’t treat it that way, it’s time to move on from him instead of move in with him.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 