“I just don’t know if this is God’s will for me.”
I can’t count the number of times that I’ve heard this statement (or statements like these) from Christian young women. Especially before and during college, I also wondered what God’s will for my life was. Honestly, I think that confusion is largely caused by vague statements made in Christian culture.
So when we have to make a morally neutral decision (i.e., a decision that’s neither moral nor immoral), we panic. I believe that in wanting to follow God’s will for our lives, we’ve gone from one extreme to the other—not caring what God thinks about our decisions to being terrified that God will despise the decisions that we make. What if there’s a balance between both of those extremes?
To Stay or Go?
- You aren’t sure if you should join the talented-but-relentless sports team that you watch at school.
- You aren’t sure if you should go to the impressive-but-expensive college that you heard about.
- You aren’t sure if you should date the sweet-but-plain guy whom you met at church.
- You aren’t sure if you should take the influential-but-stressful job that you were offered.
- You aren’t sure if you should move into the chic-but-old home that you found online.
You Can Stay…
- Maybe you shouldn’t join the talented-but-relentless sports team. Maybe you’ll discover that it’s tedious.
- Maybe you shouldn’t attend the impressive-but-expensive college. Maybe you’ll realize that it’s not worth the cost.
- Maybe you shouldn’t date the sweet-but-plain guy. Maybe you’ll find that he’s not a good fit for you.
- Maybe you shouldn’t take the influential-but-stressful job. Maybe you’ll learn that it’s not where you belong.
- Maybe you shouldn’t buy the chic-but-old home. Maybe you’ll realize that it’s not exactly what you want.
…Or You Can Go
- Maybe you should join the talented-but-relentless sports team. Maybe you’ll discover that it’s enjoyable.
- Maybe you should attend the impressive-but-expensive college. Maybe you’ll realize that it’s worth the cost.
- Maybe you should date the sweet-but-plain boy. Maybe you’ll find that he’s a perfect fit for you.
- Maybe you should take the influential-but-busy job. Maybe you’ll learn that it’s right where you belong.
- Maybe you should buy the chic-but-old home. Maybe you’ll realize that it’s exactly what you want.
Here’s the Good News
The Bible clearly teaches that people are born with freewill—the ability to make personal decisions. And I firmly believe that when it comes to morally neutral decisions, we can exercise that freewill. I think that we can make the choice to stay or the choice to go—and that it’s okay to choose either option.
I’ve met many young women who—after expressing their unsureness about God’s will for them—never actually come to a decision. They don’t take the next step because they don’t want to disappoint God. They don’t attempt to reach their goals because they fear their goals don’t align with His will. They become apathetic about their desires because they lack assurance of His voice or His calling.
Friends, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been there. And I’m still there sometimes. But based on my life experience so far, I’ve discovered that I find more satisfaction in simply making a decision than in stalling the decision because I’m afraid to make the wrong decision.
It’s so important to make sure that our decisions align with Scripture, but it’s also important to make sure that we don’t become stagnant in our decision-making. Using the freewill that God gave you (and taking time to study God’s Word, pray, and ask for godly counsel), make a decision. Sometimes, you won’t have 100% assurance from God that Option A is better than Option B. But Option C—avoiding the decision—isn’t a viable option.
Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink, and enjoy oneself in all one’s labor in which he labors under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward. (Ecclesiastes 5:18 NASB)
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