I recently discovered a song by Gabby Barrett called “Thank God,” which is about her unexpectedly painful but ultimately beautiful journey that led her to where she is now. Really, the whole song is about how God used different challenges to lead her to her now-husband. At one point in the song, she recalls feeling unsure how God was working through her heartache:
I remember feelin’
Love slipping through my hands
He [God] knew what He was doin’
I just didn’t understand
One prayer led to an outta-nowhere boy
Too good to believe
One thing led to another, led to another
All led you to me
I can’t help thinking about how similar I’ve felt to Gabby Barrett. I, too, have felt “love slipping through my hands”—honestly, many times, not just on one particular occasion. But there have been a few especially painful (and recent) times this has happened to me.
The Loves That Have Slipped Through My Hands
I’ve written about Zeke* before and my brief interaction with him at a Bible study I no longer attend. During our first real conversation (which turned out to be our last), I felt like there was a slight but legitimate possibility we could hit it off. He was charming and amusing, and I tried my best to be charming and amusing, too.
Unfortunately, I haven’t seen him since that interaction. He wasn’t at Bible study during the two weeks after our conversation, and I decided to stop attending because the group honestly wasn’t a good fit.
I met Zayne* at yet another Bible study (which I attended for approximately two weeks). His social skills were on point, and he was pretty handsome, too. It was so easy to talk to him, and he listened incredibly well. Like me, he’d been homeschooled and earned a bachelor’s degree in business. He wasn’t a nerd, nor was he overly athletic (i.e., a jerky jock who believes he’s an Olympic star even though he’s never actually been in the Olympics).
I definitely would’ve gone out with Zayne if he’d asked me. But he never did. I actually found out he had a girlfriend…whom he was proposing to soon. Lucky her. Unlucky me.
Jesse* was perhaps the hardest “love” for me to lose. Okay, I suppose I didn’t actually love him. (I didn’t really have the chance to—I only spent a few hours with him.) But I fell for him fast—and hard.
I met Jesse at my friend’s wedding earlier this year. Sweet, charming, and handsome, he was everything I wanted in a future husband (at least on the surface). But when I found out that he lived in Colorado (and when I found out after the wedding that he had a girlfriend), I gave up on the idea of an “us.” Another love slipped through my hands.
But where’s my “outta-nowhere boy”?
An Outta-Nowhere Boy
Unlike Gabby, I have yet to meet my “outta-nowhere boy.” But I have no doubt I will. As she sang, God knows what He’s doing; we just don’t usually know what He’s doing until He’s done it (and sometimes not even then).
I don’t know what God’s doing in my life or in the life of my future husband—which is a difficult reality for my control-seeking heart to accept. But I know He’s working because He always has been, always is, and always will be.
Why do you boast in evil, O mighty man? The goodness of God endures continually. Your tongue devises destruction, like a sharp razor, working deceitfully. You love evil more than good, lying rather than speaking righteousness. Selah You love all devouring words, you deceitful tongue. God shall likewise destroy you forever; He shall take you away, and pluck you out of your dwelling place, and uproot you from the land of the living. Selah The righteous also shall see and fear, and shall laugh at him, saying, “Here is the man who did not make God his strength, but trusted in the abundance of his riches, and strengthened himself in his wickedness.” But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever. I will praise You forever, because You have done it; and in the presence of Your saints I will wait on Your name, for it is good. (Psalm 52:1-9 NKJV, emphasis mine)
To my single and married friends who are reading this, know that your continual responsibility in this life isn’t easy but it’s incredibly simple: trust and wait. I trust God has the perfect “outta-nowhere boy” for me; I simply have to wait on Him to bring that boy into my life. In the meantime—and in whatever your “meantime” looks like—we’re called to praise God for what He has done and wait on Him for what He will do.
*Names have been changed.
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