A couple months ago, I went to a new small group and fell for a guy (as is my custom apparently.) I’d never been to the church that the small group was affiliated with, but the young adults in the group seemed nice. One of them in particular, Liam*, caught my eye.
I couldn’t help but notice Liam sitting across the room from me in that small circle of people. He was incredibly handsome, so I immediately tried to catch a glimpse of his left hand to see if he was married or not. To my delight, he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring! But unfortunately, the evening went downhill from there.
All the Right Answers
I made a decent attempt to follow the conversation going on around me—which centered on coffee shops I’d never heard of—but was relieved when the small group leader finally started the lesson. Honestly, I was much more interested in what Liam inserted into the discussion that night than in the actual lesson.
“And I’m just such a planner, like I think about what’s going to happen 10 years from now…”
I love forward thinkers.
“And I’m teaching and mentoring this kid, which is something I’ve always wanted to do…”
Wow, that’s so sweet.
“And I’ve just always wanted to be a husband and father as well…”
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.
“…which is about to become a reality because my girlfriend and I just designed her engagement ring last week.”
Oh dear.
Let the Woes Begin
Honestly, I fell into despair as quickly as I’d fallen for Liam.
I’m NEVER going to get married. ALL the good guys are taken. Why do I KEEP meeting attractive guys who are engaged?
Perhaps my reaction to Liam’s comment seems melodramatic, and I admit it was a bit over-the-top. Despair is an easy response for me—perhaps my most natural response when I find out a guy I like is engaged. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good response.
An Untroubled Heart
After I discovered Liam was (essentially) engaged and felt tempted to despair, Jesus brought to mind the same thing He’d told His disciples 2,000 years ago: “Do not let your heart be troubled” (John 14:1a NASB1995).
When Jesus said these words, He was preparing His disciples for His death, resurrection, and ascension to Heaven. He was giving them hope to strengthen their hearts. And He was strengthening mine, too.
“Grace,” He whispered, “I created the world with mere words. I parted the Red Sea so My children could escape from slavery in Egypt. I poured manna out of Heaven for four decades when they wandered in the wilderness. I made the sun and moon stand still to give them victory over the Amorites. And I’ve done so much more to reveal who I am, Grace. Bringing you a husband is easy for Me. You just have to wait and see.”
Friends, I don’t have a step-by-step plan to keep you from falling for engaged guys (although I’ve crushed on enough of them to be able to make said plan). I just want to share what God has been teaching me, especially in situations when I want to despair because it feels like all the good guys are taken: “Do not let your heart be troubled.”
Don’t give into despair. Don’t worry about things that are out of your hands. And don’t limit God—He’s more capable than we can ever comprehend.
*Name has been changed.
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