Later this week, TTT will turn eight years old. Though each blogiversary post I’ve written has been a bit different, they normally have a common theme: my writing dreams (i.e., how I hope to achieve them, what God is teaching me through them, etc.). This blogiversary post celebrating eight years of TTT posts follows that theme.
My “First Outcome”
“God delays when He will be brought more glory from the second outcome than from the first.”
This is something my pastor said during a recent sermon—and it’s something I’ve had to grapple with over the past several weeks. Although he spoke those words to a congregation of hundreds, it felt like he was speaking directly to me. Actually, it felt like God was speaking directly to me.
You see, I actually wrote another book. It’s much different than my first book because it’s about singleness, not eating disorder recovery. But I’m equally excited about it, and I desperately want the world to read it. I submitted query letters and book proposals for my new book to lots of literary agents and publishers with the hope that one of them would say, “I’m interested. Let’s talk about next steps.” From there, I hoped I’d become famous. (Duh.)
But that’s not what happened. I received responses (nos) from about half of them. The other half never responded and likely never will. I’m now at the point where I have to decide what steps to take next. I’m disappointed that Plan A—my “first outcome”—didn’t happen. And I’m also extremely confused.
So did You not want me to write this book, God? You gave me the inspiration and the words to write it. The world has to see it. It could help so many young women like me who need a book like this.
I realize how conceited that sounds, but it encompasses exactly how I’ve been feeling. I simply don’t know what will happen to this book, and I hate not knowing. Is rejection—and total bewilderment—the outcome that will bring God more glory than publication?
My “Second Outcome”
Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing that he would become the father of many nations. For God had said to him, “That’s how many descendants you will have!” And Abraham’s faith did not weaken, even though, at about 100 years of age, he figured his body was as good as dead—and so was Sarah’s womb. Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. And because of Abraham’s faith, God counted him as righteous. And when God counted him as righteous, it wasn’t just for Abraham’s benefit. It was recorded for our benefit, too, assuring us that God will also count us as righteous if we believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was handed over to die because of our sins, and he was raised to life to make us right with God. (Romans 4:18-25 NLT, emphasis mine)
I specifically included verses 18-25 of Romans 4 (though I recommend you read the whole chapter) because they represent the strength of Abraham’s faith—which glorified God. Think about it this way: God received more glory when Abraham patiently waited for a son—and He provided Isaac to Abraham in his old age, after many years of waiting—than He would’ve received if He’d blessed Abraham with a son at a young age.
There are countless examples in Scripture when God chose to “delay” rather than work at the “convenient” time so that the faith of His people would grow—ultimately bringing Him glory.
So as much as I wish my “first outcome” had happened, I can be thankful it didn’t. I know God will be glorified most in the waiting—as He deepens my mustard seed-sized faith—and perhaps in publication at a better time, in a better way. You, too, can trust that what feels like a delay is simply God’s path to something better.
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