Valentine’s Day is commonly known by single girls as “Galentine’s Day.” I’m not sure when the Galentine’s Day craze started. I just know that the resident assistants at the college I attended made it a big deal.
I don’t have a problem with single girls hanging out with fellow single girls on Valentine’s Day. In fact, that can be a great way to spend the holiday! I just have a problem with the message of Galentine’s Day, which is this: You don’t need a guy; you just need your gal pals. (Hence the name Galentine’s Day—emphasis on gal).
The Truth and the Misconception
You’ve probably heard some version of “You don’t need a guy” many times from well-meaning people in your life—perhaps pastors, mentors, parents, siblings, or friends. They insist you don’t need a guy; you just need to _____ (insert something like “develop a deeper relationship with Jesus” or “spend more time with your family and friends” or “find a more fulfilling career”).
And of course, you technically don’t need a guy because you can do life without one. Jesus is the only One you actually need. But I still want you to know that even though you don’t need a guy, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting one.
I actually wrote a book about singleness (which I discussed in this post) because I looked for a book about singleness that said, “Your desire to date and get married isn’t abnormal—in fact, it’s God-given.” Instead, however, I found books that told me, “Find joy and contentment in the Lord instead of a guy” and “Surrender your desire for marriage to Jesus and embrace singleness.” In other words, “You don’t need a guy—and if you want one, you’re an idol worshipper.”
Although I’m sure the authors of these books had the best of intentions when they gave their readers this advice, I didn’t feel encouraged or inspired by their words. Rather, I felt guilty and alone.
Am I the only one who sincerely hopes to meet a guy, fall in love, and get married? Like, I can’t be the only one who wants to get married. If I was, no one would be married—and most of the people I know are married!
Can you relate? Does it feel like some Christians—from influencers on social media to the people in your friend group—contradict themselves in this way?
What God Intended
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31-32 ESV)
It’s clear that we can’t understand absolutely everything about marriage. But it’s also clear that marriage—when a man leaves his parents to devote himself to his wife and become one flesh with her, as noted in Ephesians 5:31 (and in Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, and Mark 10:7)—is an illustration of Christ’s relationship with the Church. He is the groom, and we are the bride.
Here’s what this truth means for you (and me!): Your desire for a guy—and for a lifelong relationship with him built on love and respect—points to the beautifully profound relationship between Christ and the Church. And you don’t need to apologize for this desire—as long as it doesn’t become more important than the One who placed this desire in your heart.
Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your gal pals or not, I hope you remember it’s okay to desire a husband. (Gal pals aren’t a substitute for him.) And I hope you have a happy Valentine’s Day!
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