Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
I’m writing this letter to you because I want you to know that I have high expectations for you. I don’t want to trudge through decades of singleness and end up with a subpar husband. However, I also want you to know that my expectations for you are reasonable. By the way, you should probably have reasonable expectations for me as well…because I’m pretty broken.
Sean, I can’t waste any more years expecting something to happen between us. Nothing ever did, and nothing ever will. I’ve wanted you to be my boyfriend for years. Your smile, friendliness, and confidence (and handsomeness, duh) are incredibly attractive qualities. You're everything that I could ever want. But I can’t keep waiting for you to notice me. I know I have to move on. I’m mostly hopeful that the future is bright…for both of us. Here are a few things that you should know before we part ways.
I know that I recently wrote you a letter about accepting your singleness while still being honest about how challenging it is. But there’s something else that’s just as important that I need to share with you: I truly believe that you're single for a reason. So Single Girl, find purpose in whatever you do while you wait to date and get married.
Friends, I know from personal experience that singleness isn't easy. It's nobody's fault that you're un-dated, un-engaged, or un-married. But patience isn't becoming easier. Instead, feelings of loneliness, disappointment, curiosity, and fear are becoming easier. What's a girl to do with these unpleasant emotions?
Did I wish that I'd had a guy to sit next to during the fancy meal? Did I feel a little awkward as I danced beside my girlfriends during the slow dance? Did I think about the handsome guy on the dancefloor who was dancing oh-so-closely with his girlfriend? Yes, yes, and yes. But I survived, and you can survive, too. I truly believe that you can still enjoy your life, even without Prince Charming next to you.
Don’t worry—I’m not going to tell you that you’re loved or wanted or valuable whether you have a boyfriend or not. You’ve heard those things a hundred times and already know that those things are true. Instead, I’m going to tell you that it's okay to cry, vent, and even scream if you need to. But I also want you to exhale.
I started thinking about Four and Tris together…holding each other tightly…kissing passionately…with Four shirtless. And I started to imagine myself in Tris’ place…with Four and I holding each other tightly…kissing passionately…and Four shirtless.
As another girl answered Wyatt's call, I suddenly realized that he was calling the other Grace. I figured that they were already friends and that he wanted to tell her something. I stood in line, feeling slightly embarrassed. And many years later, I often feel the same way.
So my promise for this post is that I won't give you any cookie-cutter answers. No wearing plastic smiles, hiding behind masks, or slapping Band-Aids on our broken hearts. Just real answers for our real doubts about why we've never had real relationships.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 