Honestly, there are lots of reasons why I’m scared about dating. I’m unsure what we’ll talk about, when we’ll discuss physical boundaries, how we’ll share hopes and dreams about the future, etc. Maybe, if you’re a completely inexperienced dater like me, you can relate to these three fears:
Fear #1: What if our first date is really awkward?
I can see it now: He meets me at the movies to see a new superhero movie. He breaks the ice by asking who my favorite superhero is. I have no idea because I’ve only seen 4 of the 100 superhero movies. I ask him, and he says Superman. The conversation ends abruptly. I’m distracted by his dreamy blue eyes, and he’s distracted by my awkwardness. After the movie, he asks me what my favorite part was. I quickly make something up because I was too distracted by his adorable smile to watch the movie. He laughs—a little too hard—when I say my favorite part was “when the good guy killed the bad guy.”
Fear #2: What if I do something embarrassing?
I can see it now: It’s our second date. We’re sitting in a fancy restaurant, and I foolishly order spaghetti and a salad. When the salad comes out before the meal, I get a piece of spinach stuck in my teeth and don’t realize it. When the entrees arrive, I spill sauce all over the table. During the meal, I get a noodle stuck in my throat. He has to drive me to the closest emergency room and stays with me for three hours until I choke up the noodle—onto his lap.
Fear #3: How will we know when to show physical affection?
I can see it now: We’ve been dating for a month. He hasn’t really talked about physical affection. I actually appreciate that because I don’t know how or when to bring it up, even though I really want to hold his hand. Finally, after another month, he asks if it would be okay for him to hold my hand. I begin to panic internally. Instead of saying that I wouldn’t mind, I squeal like a newborn piglet and turn bright red. He looks confused about whether to hold my hand or run far, far away.
Hope for the Inexperienced Dater
My mind races at the thought of dating. I’m not sure what my first dating relationship will be like—and it’s okay if you don’t know either. But here’s the hard truth of the matter:
- If he (my date) is turned off by my sometimes-awkward self, he won’t be able to handle anything that life throws at him.
- If he can’t stay in the emergency room with me when I choke on a noodle, he won’t be able stay with me while I’m giving birth to our future children.
- If he freaks out about holding my hand for the first time, he’ll definitely freak out when he has to propose.
If the guy you’re dating genuinely likes you and wants to get to know you, he won’t leave you if the first date is awkward or if you do something embarrassing or if physical affection is uncomfortable at first. Love isn’t based on feelings; it’s a choice. If a relationship is going to last, it can’t be based on superficial things like lack of awkward moments. It has to be based on love and respect.
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33 ESV)
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 