Dear Single Girl, Don’t Be Afraid of Being Forever Alone

Dear Single Girl,

I know 22 engaged couples. As in 22 couples who will most likely be joined in holy matrimony this year. As in 44 less single people whom I’ll know.

Family members. Friends. People I know from church. People I know from college. People I know from my college & career groups.

It feels like the clock is ticking for me…very, very fast.

What We’re Told

People try to encourage you when you tell them that you feel lonely and afraid of being forever alone, but you still feel lonely and afraid for some reason.

“You’re at the marrying age now. It’s normal for people you know to be getting married.”

But if it’s normal for other people, why can’t it be normal for me?

“Your time will come. Just be patient and leave the timing to God.”

But what if my time is sometime far into the cold, dark future?

“The average age for women to get married is in their late twenties. You have plenty of time.”

But why do I know so many girls who have gotten married in their early 20s—or late teens—and so few girls who have gotten married in their late 20s—or early 30s?

Dear Lord, Please Don’t Let Me Be the Last Single Girl

The guys and girls in your friend group are breaking off into couples now. The young adults in your college & career group are starting to date and get engaged and get married. Your coworkers keep showing up to work with rings on their fingers and squeals of delight.

Reality begins to set in as time goes on. So does panic.

Do You know what You’re doing, God? Like, do You really know what You’re doing? Because I most certainly cannot be the last single girl I know!

Whatever You Do, Don’t Despair

Oh, Single Girl. My heart goes out to you as you question every decision that you make and attempt to understand why the heck you’re still alone. You try to dress nicely, you show kindness to others, you don’t let yourself be a hermit—even though you really want to be a hermit sometimes—and you aim to be faithful in the little things.

Yet your circle of single friends is getting smaller and smaller with every year that passes, and despair seems more appealing than dressing nicely, showing kindness to others, not letting yourself be a hermit, and being faithful in the little things.

Nevertheless, I encourage you to be on the watch for God to work.   

Listen to my words, Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to the sound of my cry for help, my King and my God, for to You I pray. In the morning, Lord, You will hear my voice; in the morning I will present my prayer to You and be on the watch. (Psalm 5:1-3 NASB)

If you desire to be married, then ask God for marriage. If He changes your desires, that’s great. If He doesn’t, then keep asking Him and don’t stop asking Him. The truth is that you’re not the last single girl on Earth. We’re in this together.     

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