Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
As another girl answered Wyatt's call, I suddenly realized that he was calling the other Grace. I figured that they were already friends and that he wanted to tell her something. I stood in line, feeling slightly embarrassed. And many years later, I often feel the same way.
So my promise for this post is that I won't give you any cookie-cutter answers. No wearing plastic smiles, hiding behind masks, or slapping Band-Aids on our broken hearts. Just real answers for our real doubts about why we've never had real relationships.
I listened to a slightly-too-convicting podcast last night (ahem). It was the By Faith podcast with host Christine Hoover and guest Callie Nixon. Callie shared about her struggles with lust, masturbation, and porn, which was a struggle that lasted for years. The most interesting, beautiful part of the podcast was Callie's observation that it was Jesus’ kindness—not His anger or His punishment or His "holding out" on her—that allowed her not to have a boyfriend while she was in the midst of her struggles with personal sexual sin.
When I woke up this morning, I realized that I'd had a devastating, awful nightmare. No, I wasn’t kidnapped. My family wasn’t eaten by monsters. My home didn’t burn down. Rather, the groom didn’t show up at my wedding.
Sometimes, I just want to walk up to him and ask him the question. I mean, what would he say? I’d love to know how he’d answer if I asked him, "So why don't you like me?"
Somehow, I still have a hardcore crush on Sean. I stare at him from across the cafeteria at meals. I look up his picture in the college directory when I’m feeling lonely. I imagine us having this amazing relationship that would make you crazy jealous. But it’s all fake. It’s all in my head.
I'd heard "Just the Way You Are" before, but I hadn't seen the music video for it until a classmate shared it in a presentation for class recently. At first, the lyrics made me feel good. The song made me think of similar songs, like the crazy popular hit “What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction. But then I understood the message that this song was sending—especially when it was combined with the music video.
Honestly, there are lots of reasons why I’m scared about dating. I’m unsure what we’ll talk about, when we’ll discuss physical boundaries, how we’ll share hopes and dreams about the future, etc. Maybe, if you’re a completely inexperienced dater like me, you can relate to these three fears.
I didn’t just want a charming guy to sweep me off my feet. I wanted a man who could bring me closer to Christ. And that kind of spiritual maturity reveals a heart that is satisfied in God. If I could tell that young man (or any of the young men I’ve been attracted to over the years) what I desire in a future husband, I would say this.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 